i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
