Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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