1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize