look no pants
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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