I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
