I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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