It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
