If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
