apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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