there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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