She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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