Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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