are you so shy because you have an std?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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