these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
