I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
