your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
