my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
