Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
