Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize