Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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