i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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