bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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