So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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