Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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