I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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