i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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