I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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