Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
