Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm just crazy horny about you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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