your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
