I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
