In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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