I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
