where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
