I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
