when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
