If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
