It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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