So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
