I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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