so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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