for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
