there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
