the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
