Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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