I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
