dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
