is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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