Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
