Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Randomize
