:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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