But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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