Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize