Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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