Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize