dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
